In a recent Daily Mirror article, Stacey Solomon was quoted saying she feels like a single mum to her older kids.
She said that ultimately, her older kids were her sole responsibility and she wouldn’t ask anyone, namely Joe Swash, baby daddy to her current pregnancy, to “take them on”.
I think she’s wrong.
To start a new family but ask the father to be parent to one, but not parent the children in the existing family makes for a confusing family dynamic.
Yes, it’s a tough job to take them on, yes it’s expensive, yes it’s thankless, but it is also joyful.
To relieve him from the responsibility or ‘burden’ of her children tells me she is not putting them first.
Is living with those children not the most priviledged joyful position? Would many people give anything to live with children they can nurture and care for, spend breakfast times and play times and giggles in bed in the morning?
I like the look of Joe Swash, and I reckon he has ‘taken them on’. And if she’s honest with herself, would she really have allowed herself to fall in love with someone who wasn’t in love with her kids? That’s not love, that’s lust.
Our kids are a privilege to live with. To watch a young person grow. To set the example and be a role model to that young man or woman and how they need to be in the world. To teach them how to be happy, and to make the most of their potential, is a huge responsibility, but it’s ultimately a joy and an honour.
It’s sacred, honest, wholesome work and it stretches you to be a better person in ways that are unimaginable. It’s not for the faint hearted and it’s not for the weak.
And if a step parent doesn’t see the gravity and the privilege of their situation, they are not the person to let into your family. You are better off as a single mum.